Friday, July 31, 2009

Getting it Done Friday #3: Stop Trying to Be Super Mom

As moms, we constantly have to keep a game face on. We do everything just because we have too. After all, is there anyone else willing to do it? Moreover, each and everyone Super Mom wears that super cape and feels that she must be super all the time and every where. Super Moms are constantly trying to carry the world’s (well, almost) on their shoulders. The truth is no one can carry the world on their shoulders on a daily basis, even God, when he created the heavens and the earth rested on the 7th day. It can really take a toll on a person and there will be plenty of tears when it does.

I, as a Super Mom, worry so much that it results in nightmare on an almost nightly basis. I wear my Super Mom cape and forget how vulnerable that makes me. Every Super Mom thinks she is invisible. We are not our mothers, nor are the mothers portrayed in Ozzie and Harriet, Leave It to Beaver, Donna Reed and many more. Nowadays, Super Moms have twice as much responsibility. We need to take care of our families and hold down full or part-time jobs.

I work full-time, do freelance document preparation work, attend school part-time working on master’s degree, and I take care of my family while my husband’s job takes him all over the country and involves 60 hour work weeks. (I lost count, how many jobs do I have?) Every evening, I start the second shift. Arlie Hochschild first introduced us to the concept “the second shift” in the late 1980s to define the domestic work that working women perform when they arrive home after their workday is complete.

Nobody can manage home and work life without having it take some kind of toll on them. Unfortunately trying to be a Super Mom can result in physical and emotional suffering and stress related conditions. Many moms try and sometimes they succeed and sometimes they do not.

Here are some Super Mom survival ideas that I have come across in my quest to be the greatest Super Mom ever! (I think, however, that title belongs to Michelle over at The Adventures of Super Mom.)

1. Find balance: Prioritize what is important, - your kids. One day they will be all grown up and you will be wishing they were children again. And who cares if your housekeeping suffers?

2. Think about your health and ask for help when you need. Remember to rest and take time for yourself. I have learned about having to ask for help the hard way, when it finally took a toll on me.

3. Live in the moment. Spend time with friends and family and stop worrying about what tomorrow brings. Enjoy your life and the time you have with your children before they are all grown up.

I am as guilty as each and every one of you when it comes to trying to be a Super Mom. I have read countless books on how to manage it all. Below are some recommendations that are my favorites.

Dunnewold’s book is about creating a balance between family, self and work, also ridding oneself of negative thinking, perfectionism and control issues and anxiety.

You’re a Good Mom (and your kids aren’t so bad either) by Jen Singer.
Jen’s book is about the balance between Super Mom” and “Slacker Mom” and how to fall just somewhere in between. Secret One is the best - “Super Mom is Faking It”, and as Super Moms, we know that manage life as it comes.

The Secret Life of Super Mom by Kathy Buckworth is one of my favorite books, and I am constantly recommending it to mothers every where. If you are Super Mom, you will enjoy this Kathy’s book about how Super Moms manage their lives, and not necessary always in a graceful manner. Super Mom’s home is not the cleanest, nor are her kids the most well behaved. My favorite piece of advice is taking the kids out to eat. Let them make a mess, and sit back and relax. Let someone prepare the meal, clean and mess, and just remember to leave a good tip.

Well happy reading Super Moms! Remember, you are super!

1 comment:

  1. I couldn't agree more about taking care of our health!

    I always make sure Amara makes it to her checkups but I always let mine slide. So I have to make a conscious effort to get to the doctors.

    And that's why running and going to the gym are so important to me. I need to stay in tip top shape to chase Amara!


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